I am 28 and have always had severe depression and anxiety. After my Grandpa passed away in 1994 i began to cry all the time, stay awake thinking about death and being afraid of dying. I became angry about everything and hated doing anything. I hated going to work, I was afraid of going to work, afraid of socializing with people. I finally went to a doctor in 2005 and was put on Celexa. I took it for 2 years and felt better but finally the crying spells came back and I realised I had gained over 30lbs. I went off the medication and the withdrawl was terrible, headaches, nausea, increased anxiety, intense fear, horrible dreams, etc. My doctor then tried me on wellbutrin and that was a nightmare. I managed to lose 7lbs in a week, but had terrible crying spells, wanted to die, had the shakes all day, intense fear and anxiety, flu like symptoms. The doctor told me to get off it immediately. For a week after i still had shakes and crying spells. So he switched me to Cymbalta, same bad effects. Crying spells are worse, i wake up in the morning with intense fear and shakiness. I went off that and have been on Sam-e, Fish oil, and a multi vitamin for 2 weeks now. I’m still scared about everything, i’m afraid of aging and dying, i’m scared because i’m single and can’t find anyone. I cry every night and am more terrified than ever of going to work. I hate my job but i’m so broke cuz all these doctor visits and expensive medications. I have no health insurance and I can’t afford to keep going to the doctor and all the meds make me gain weight and feel even worse. I’m still trying to lose the 30lbs I gained and after 3 months of working out and dieting i’ve still not lost a pound and gained back what i lost on the wellbutrin. I’m really scared and sad that there is nothing left i can take that doesn’t have bad side effects. I don’t want to be on drugs at all. Is there anything I can do to stop this anxiety and depression without medication. I’m not on anything except the natural stuff and i still feel shaky, anxious, and sad. I work as a surgical assistant and i cannot take meds that make me sick or i will shake and not be able to work. I work for an eagle eyed doctor who notices everything and I will get fired if I take anything that has bad side effects. Please help!
I also would like to mention i still take klonopin and xanax but it doesn’t seem to help. The xanax makes me tired and when i wake up after taking it i feel like i have a hangover. I’ve just started Klonopin and i don’t notice much of a difference. I am on the smallest doses of each. I also find that the only think i enjoy doing is shopping, so rewarding myself with something i want only makes me happy for a day or so and my friends and family are calling me a hoarder cuz I have so much stuff
I also was seeing a therapist for a year, it cost $75 bucks a week and the only one in my area with a sliding fee scale was 45 minutes away and i’m terrified of driving. I also don’t want to gain weight, i used to be so thin and pretty and all the SSRI’s and other antidepressants make you gain weight. Ive been to many doctors for my thyroid, hormones and metabolism, all agreed after many tests it was the antidepressants that caused me to gain weight. I’m going to be depressed if i take an antidepressant and gain weight. I work out very hard now, 5 days a week, plus jog and walk daily and 1500 calories a day, i still cant lose a pound and my trainer doesnt even understand
I also was seeing a therapist for a year, it cost $75 bucks a week and the only one in my area with a sliding fee scale was 45 minutes away and i’m terrified of driving. I also don’t want to gain weight, i used to be so thin and pretty and all the SSRI’s and other antidepressants make you gain weight. Ive been to many doctors for my thyroid, hormones and metabolism, all agreed after many tests it was the antidepressants that caused me to gain weight. I’m going to be depressed if i take an antidepressant and gain weight. I work out very hard now, 5 days a week, plus jog and walk daily and 1500 calories a day, i still cant lose a pound and my trainer doesnt even understand